Lost

Thoughts > Poetry > Poetry by me > Lost

I can’t see where I’m going,
It’s like trying to fight fog.
I’m angry, hurt, frustrated
That no-one can see me.
The fog turns into a dark, heavy cloud,
Which locks my soul in shadow.
I can feel my hope twist and wrench,
But I’m suffocating on this blackness.
It fills my lungs, my nostrils,
My ears and eyes-
I can’t see or sense anything else,
But this black, paralysing fear of failure.

Why can no-one see me?
I shine so bright,
But the smog of others’ talents
Cloud my own,
Reminding me that I am no-one.
Life was beauty,
And I was polished till I sparkled.
But now I am tainted by dirt
Before I’ve even begun my descent,
As I scrabble and fight like an animal
For scraps of an un-life,
For which I’m apparently not good enough.

I want to tear at my hair and flesh,
Breaking my nails.
I want to press my face into the earth
And scream with rage
At a subconscious god who won’t listen,
Because I’m not important enough to save.

I am lost in a sandstorm of self-pity,
Which wears away at my strength and will.
I no longer want to stop
This relentless, merciless blackness.
The world is spinning, swirling, darkening,
But I won’t grasp onto anything
To stop myself from falling
Into the blackness,
Into nothingness.